~m3 My$3Lf n EyE~

…:::pagi2 buta cmni terasa nk menaip plak kat blog neyh kan..hihihi…sepanjang bln ni,setiap minggu ade exam…tp alhamdulillah,xspt sbelom2 ni,aku da xtensen2 slalu sgt cam b4 ni ble tbe musim exam..even my fren pon realise bnd ni..hihih…gmbira  dgn peningkatan diri..hahah..kalu x,asek tensen n nk nanges je keje aku..ahahah..skang ni no more…jus focus je yg aku tau…aku da sedar kalu tensen2 sgt lg la otak xberfungsi..then xleh nk stdy ngan warasnye..hhihihi..jumaat ni ade exam electronics lg..haizz..asek exam je..da la bln april ade tournamen drgn boat n rowing..bermula la suday hectic life aku…agagga…tp memandangkan exam ade pd setiap mgg,aku kena gak ssn jadual so that aku leh prepar tok exam..huhuhu…mmg pack ar jadual…tp xpe,ni tuk diri sndiri gak…dr situ leh blaja manage ms kan…hope aku leh arrange waktu aku ngan smpurna so that aku xabaikan studies aku kan…huhuhu…xleh nk men2 sgt sem ni….kena nek kan smula cgpa aku!!!huhuhu…hope i can make it…hihihi..chaiyok2…ngeee~:::…

~apriani~

…:::br je bbrp minit bangun tdo slps 4jam tdo afta smpai mmu kul 530 td…gle penat xhengat tp besh bangat…muka aku da pedih gle cam terbako n sagatla itam…nganganga..lengan tgn aku pon lg ar sbb aku pkai short sleeve ms kayak tu..ktrg gerak ke pd ari jumaat ptg..tp yg nek van gerak ptg..ats alasan2 tertentu,ade 2 keta yg grk mlm…aku salah salah sorg yg grk mlm ahh..ngee…smpai da kul bape ta..lpk jap then jn tepi pntai..besh gle!!!sbb kan aku ske gle pntai kan..hihi…eskpgnye tu which is ari sabtu,lps breakfas,g trun kayak…mmg bnyk gle luka2 kat tgn n kaki…sbb ms berlatih capsize etc kat tmpt yg sbenarnye terumbu karang..so cam batunye tajam2..nasek la kaki ku…atas laut smpai dlm kul 1 kot..then mandi2 laut dulu yg gle cam hewl then baru bersihkan diri…lps tu ade tgsan msg2..aku n bbrp org lg kena g cari barang2 bbq tuk mlm…yg len stay kat khemah..ade yg msk tuk lunch ktrg segala ahh…mmg phenat gle…afta lunch,trun balik laut…ptg dlm kul 6 kot br nek blk..tp tu pon bkn trus nek,lps trun kayak,smbung mandi laut lak..mane la xburn n terbako kulit..ngeee…mlm lak bt bbq…aku as usual,akn mkn tepi pntai w’pun yg len mkn kat perkarangan khmah..lps mkn dok lpk2 tepi pntai..borak2 ngan leo n jarir…layan prasaan msg2..hahahha…tepi pantai plak kan..gle kentang..then kwn2 ku dtg area ktrg smbg menari poco..iya,dot,yani,ct,intan,nadz n mili tunjukkan tarian tu kat jarir,leo,acap,aizat n sape tah lg..xpasan sgt sbb gelap….gle cumey nengok..hihih…then blk lpk kat khemah blk..dok borak2 kat khemah…men dam segala…tdo pon da kul bape tah..ahd tu bgn as usual msk breakfas..afta breakfas trun laut balik…arini bt ekspidisi kayak smpai kat satu teluk ke pulau tah nama die…jauh gle cam haram…gle penat..tp layan~~da smpai dtmpt yg dtuju,lepak2 jap then patah balik…lps abes berkayak tu,smbung lg mandi laut…dak2 len suma nek banana boat..gne 2 banana boat lagi..tp aku xnek sbb mls nk mengangkat2 bdn ms die terbalikkan banana boat tu…ahahha..so aku jus mandi tepi pntai je arr jarir,acap n faiz…acap ajar ktrg floatin…n aku da pon berjaya floatin kat laut…hahah..ampes je..besh gle mandi laut..ms tu xpk ar sunburn segala…afta nek je laut  nk bersihkan diri,ms tu ar perasan gle kulit cam itam gle…ahhaha..pedih lak tu…then kms2 tapak khemah,mkn etc…kul bape tah br gerak blk..rsnye dlm kul 3 lebey grk kot…around 5 smpai mmu smula…nek je bilik,kms2 sket baju then trus collapse..kul 530 da bantai tdo..tdo xhengat nye..hihihi….nyenyak gle la kan sbb kepenatan….kesimpulannye,trip kali ni besh gle…xnyesal ar ikut..hihihi….tp mission lps trip ni lak is putihkan kulit msg2 ke warna asal ek which is shoo damn ssh la kan nk back to normal…hahahha..btw,thanks to all..really had fun dis weeken ngan korg suma.muahxzzz:::…

~apriani~

…:::da lama rsnye sy x menaip kat sini…mungkin sbb tiada pape menarik yg leh dkongsi bersama n tiada ide tuk mencoretkan pape kat sini…ngeee~~pe yg sy tau,sy ske ngan kehidupan sy skarang…happy sentiasa as always…bknla nk ckp dulu xhappy,dulu pon slalu happy je memandangkan sy mmg jns happy-go-lucky kan..tp dulu kerap sgt rs down..hihihi..now sy da try adapt bnd cenggitu…n im happy like dis:::…

~apriani~

..::ku sedey mengenangkan pe yg terjadi pada emosiku lately ni..maybe aku yg terlalu emosional.salah diri ku sndiri la kot..ku cuba memperbetulkan keadaan..tp cam len lak jadinye…niat len tp tanggapan org len…tak tau la pe lak jd lps ni..cmne lak org pndg aku…ala,spt kebiasaan nye,kesalahan akn berbalik padaku…ngungungu….n aku trima sumanye…sbb ku tau,mungkin ku yg tersilap…sorry frens,mayb korg tau sape korg…aku xde niat len..jus skadar menyuarakan hasrat hati..terpulang kat korg nk anggap aku cmne kan…its jus me in d end yg akn rs bersalah kan..aku mmg cmtu..buat pape pon afta dat rs bersalah ya amat…SORRY neway::..

..::exam engine maths rabu mlm..tp aku xleh nk concentrate lgsg on my studies…mcm2 bermain kat kpala..xdpt nk kumpul smangat tuk study..xdpt nk concentrate..god..help me…its always been like dis..nak exam je mst emosi tgh tak stabil..ade je la yg mengganggu konsentrasi diri..huhu..but,in d end,aku kena cum back to my own self aite??study tetap study kan??huhuh::..

~apriani~

..::lumrah manusia tak sedar dgn kesalahan diri..aku pun sumtimes begitu..tp kalo seringkali tdk sedar dgn kesalahan diri tu plak cmne tu??n lumrah manusia gak tdk mahu mengaku kesalahan diri..bila ego menguasai diri,segala kesalahan diri akn kununnye rasa diri sndiri betul..pdhal xsedar kesalahan sndiri tu tlah menyakiti hati n prasaan org len..ngungungu…tu la terjadi ble emosi mengalahkan logika…lg satu lumrah manusia ialah ble jmp yg baru,then jus ignore yg lama…w’pun yg baru tu mayb betta or wut,pity la yg lama yg dulunya sering bersama…nk jaga hati sorg ni,then t’pksa guriskan hati yg yg len lak..ngungungu…nape tak jus buat kputusan sndiri je??..adoi aiii..life is complicated..but still ada cara nk make it easy sebenarnya..caranya,kekalkan yg keadaan yg lama w’pun ade yg baru…then both side takde la mkn dlm..nganganga..tp,mcm yg aku ckp…lumrah manusia kan..mcm gak kalo beli brg ke baju ke pe…dpt yg baru,buang yg lama…huhuhu..stiap org ade karenah msg2…n aku da penat da dgn karenah manusia…aku nmpk segala yg berlaku disekelilingku…tp ku diamkan aje…nngungungu…wut more can i say if everythin dat i say mcm x diendahkan..mcm rs diri bodo je..kalo ckp pon cam useless je..so diam je ahh..tp kalo tindakan aku yg berdiam diri ini menyebabkan org salah phm n berkata2 dblakangku,aku xde kuasa la kan nk bt pape…they can jus say wuteva they wanna say..n think wuteva they wanna think…ngungungu::..

"aku hanya sorang teman
    Mungkin nanti tidak kau peduli
    Kehadiran ku ini"

"entah mengapa hatiku terus gelisah
    apa yang kan terjadi
    air mata pun jatuh tak tertahan
    melihatmu berdiam"

"I tear my heart open
    I sew myself shut
    My weakness is
    That I care too much"

"i hate the way u talkes to me…
    i hate u so much…u make me sick
    and even makes me cry
    i hate it when u always right
    hate it when u lied
    i hate it when u make me laugh
    the most thing,u make me cry
    i hate it when u’re not around…
    and in fact u didnt call
    the most thing i hate is the way i dun hate u…
    not even close..even a lil bit..not even at all "

~apriani~

…:::as time pass by..i kept on thinkin why must i be in dis way..why dun i jus ignore those thing??n why not i jus dun hv to care if no one cares?? i am me n they are they…all dis while ive been thingkin bout others but did they really care or think bout me??is it worth it for me??is it fair??as  always,ppl will say they care..but every lil single minor of their reaction shows everythin..im not dat blurr-type till i couldnt see it…i realize n i noe  it..but as i always did..jus shutup n jus go with da flow as if i dunno anythin …i hv ma own limit…n now,i couldnt bare wit it anymore…so, im lettin it off  n stop being like i always be b4 dis…ill try not to care bout dis anymore..its not dat i wanna run away frm dis or wut,its jus dat i really couldnt bare wit it…its enough till ere..till wut ive been through…let them be wuteva they wanna be..let them say wuteva they wanna say..let them think wuteva they wanna think…of cos im still there as a fren but now i wont think too much n care to much..ive had ma lesson…to care bout my own self 1st rather than care bout others 1st…yeah..i know da fact dat ppl changed..i do changed also..but i think i changed without hurtin other ppl’s heart…i changed without involvin others..i did changed n i admit it…but i dun think dis has bring side effect to d’ others…things dat i really dun understan till now -why ppl changed till it brings impact to d others???n unfortunately,the impact is to me…i guess im not dat lucky…last time they used to say in dat way..but now..afta the changin transaction,they’ll say in dis way…like duuhhh…why cant we jus maintain everythin???haizzzzz…feels like im bein used 4 their own gud…i dunno..myb its jus me yg sensitive…ngungungu~ahhh…wuteva ler..now dat ive already see da fact n da truth clearly,i wont ive a damn nemore…enough la 4 now…i wont care anymore:::…

~apriani~